Tuesday, June 10, 2008


So my thoughts on blogs is this; why, why expose yourself to the world to be judged more than you already are on a day to day basis. Yes there are the settings to make things private, but how do you really know strangers aren't reading what you write? Now I'm not writing this to scare people, it's just what I think and how I feel. I also understand blogging to be a form of journaling and keeping in touch with family. Again I am not fond of this, since it's a forever thing and forever is a long time. However I am writing a blog, so why am I typing a blog when I feel this way? I figure I can use this as my way to bear witness of the goodness of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. Many don't believe in them, however many believe in a higher sense of being. I get that, but my belief is what I know so that is what I can type about. I battle with depression and negative thoughts drown in my brain, I feel pretty worthless often, but due to my own behavior and decisions. I know that because when I decide to do the things I am asked to do by the leaders of my church, who I believe are messengers of God, so the things my Heavenly Father asks me to do I feel better about myself. I am uplifted and given the opportunity to be at peace and have clarity. This doesn't mean that bad things don't happen or that I don't slip back into my depression, but I have the tools to get out of the zone of negativity. One of the best things about this is it's free, I don't have to go to seminars or meetings where I pay to go to get the tools. I go to church and pay my tithing, but I am blessed when I do. I am blessed when I say my prayers daily. I am blessed when I read my scriptures, whether it be The Bible or The Book of Mormon. One uplifting moment for me was after going and buying food storage, as much I am against jumping on the band wagon and doing what everyone else is doing, it is a good feeling to know that I am that much closer to being prepared for any kind of disaster. Even if it's just a case of something I buy at the grocery store or 5 pouches of flour, I get excited. The reason is I'm doing what I was commanded to do, I'm choosing the right. Recently I started saying prayers and reading scriptures with my husband and our children. I have noticed that I have more patience with my children and that I have the desire to play with them. I have always loved and cared for my children, but I wasn't always like that my depression would take over and they seemed to annoy me more than bring me joy. Anyway that brings me to tonight where after I cleaned some of my home, I decided I was going to take time to read my scriptures. I didn't want to continue from where we are with the children (since I wanted to do personal study) I just opened it randomly. Again I don't always make the right decisions, so I feel bad. The scripture I opened up to though brought a smile and a grateful heart. For those who do believe the things I do the scripture was 2 Nephi 22: And in that day thou shalt say: O Lord, I will praise thee; though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away, and thou comfortedest me. Behold, God is my salvation; and not be afraid; for the Lord JEHOVAH is my strength and my song; he also has become my salvation. Therefor, with joy shall ye draw water out of the wells of salvation. And in that day shall ye say; Praise the Lord, call upon his name, declare his doings among the people, make mention that his name is exalted. Sing unto the Lord; for he hath done excellent things; this is known in all the earth. Cry out and shout, thou inhabitant of Zion; for great is the Holy One of Israel in the midst of thee.
Now many who know me also know that singing is something I love to do, not always in front of people, so this scripture really stuck out to me.
How many of you get those "pass this e-mail along if you really believe in Christ" or "post this bulletin if you really believe in Christ"? I get those too, but how many do you really read and pass on? Not many if any, so does that make you less of a believer, no! It just takes up time (I think anyway), how many take the time to read others' blogs? If my Internet isn't acting up at least 15 minutes of my time goes to reading blogs. So where better to share your belief in Christ than on your blog? Anyway these are my thoughts and my beliefs, I am not knocking others' beliefs, so if you read this and don't believe it don't knock my beliefs.